Overcoming Anger
Sinful anger comes in two basic flavors: anger revealed and anger concealed.
Anger Revealed
Photo by Alexandra Mirgheș on Unsplash
Anger revealed is explosive and expressive. We can call it venting as in Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit.” It can involve yelling and screaming, punching holes in the wall, giving others a piece of our mind, or making angry threats. We feel the need to assert our rights, then we cathartically feel better after “letting off some steam” or “getting it off our chest.” Just because it feels good, though, doesn’t make it right. Venting our anger is both foolish and sinful.
Anger Concealed
Anger concealed is internalized, but still smoldering. Concealers shut down when the situation gets too hot. They become moody and irritated, while wielding the weapons of silent treatments and cold shoulders. They roll their eyes and flare their nostrils and bore holes right through their enemies. “Nothing’s wrong,” of course, they just don’t want to talk about it. Many concealers don’t even think they’re angry because they never let it out. Yet anger concealed is often more dangerous than anger revealed. For while anger revealed takes it out on someone else, anger concealed takes it out on yourself. Just because it feels bad, though, doesn’t make it right.
Leviticus 19 condemns such peace-faking: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD” (vv. 17-18). Don’t bottle up anger in your heart. Holding a grudge means hating your neighbor, according to the God who never harbors hate (Ps 103:9).
Anger Repealed
Sinful anger goes deep—all the way down to the heart. But the gospel goes deeper.
So, first, confess your sinful anger (Prov 28:13). Admit you lost control (25:28). Consider how Christians must live differently than the world (Col 3:7-10).
Then, examine the root of your anger (Jas 4:1-2) and repent of both root and fruit (vv. 6-10).
What were my thoughts and desires at the time?
What was I wanting or defending that led to sinful anger?
What desires ruled my heart?
Repent of sinful anger, but also for sinful desires.
Third, remember how we need God’s grace:
To forgive our sinful anger (1 John 1:9).
To pour out wrath on Christ instead (2 Cor 5:21).
To root out indwelling sin (Prov 3:11-12; Eph 4:26).
To make all things right in the end (Rom 12:19).
To transform us into peacemakers (Prov 15:1; Rom 12:18).
For sinful anger goes deep, but the gospel goes deeper.